How Families Work

This week in class we learned about boundaries in a family. It was really interesting to learn about the different types of boundaries there are in family and to see how the effect each person. We learned about rigid boundaries, which would be like a brick wall.

with this kind of boundary your family or yourself, has a really hard time letting people in. They are very to themselves. People who want to try to come in won't be let in because when they try they'll be faced with a huge thick wall in the way. Another boundary would be an Open boundary. Now by the sound of that one you would think Oh yeah! That's they one we want. Well hold on. Open boundaries are like drawing a line in the sand.

 It doesn't last long at all and soon you are letting too much in and letting too much out. You are very open about your life and the things that go wrong. There could be some positives to this boundary though, within a relationship between a husband and wife it might be nice to have an open boundary. I think then you would always talk about everything together. The last boundary is more of the ideal boundary and that is a Clear one. An example of a clear boundary would be like a white picket fence between two houses.

It shows that there are defined boundaries between the two but it doesn't shut them totally out, they are usually short fences with a gate, meaning you are more likely to feel welcome into their home, or life, but you won't get bombarded with their whole life story and their mess of anything.

Now withing a family there can be these boundaries between the different siblings and even the parents. In class we were asked to map out the boundaries in our family and I think my family is pretty good with clear boundaries.

Another quick thing we talked about in class was our unspoken families rules. Rules in your family that you just do, your parents never really sat you down and told you flat out "Here are the things we will and will not do" For my family we have a few and it was really fun thinking of some of them, for my family some of them are:
*Never call Grandma anything besides Grandma or Grandmother
*Always check in when you get home
*Ritz and Salsa when you get home from church, while stealing sips of dads dr. pepper (oddly this really does only happen on sundays)
*Be quiet when Dads office door is closed
*Don't sit in someone spot at the dinner table other than your own
*Only church music on Sundays

What are some of your unspoken family Rules?

Siblings

My Family Relations class has been awesome so far and I have been learning so much. But something that stood out to me was from our discussion in class today about siblings. I may be a bit bias on this because I come from a family of six kids but I feel that there are others out there who can feel the same. As we were talking in class I learned that even though birth rate has gone up, the fertility rate has gone down and that there are even some places where the rate is so low that they are averaging about 1 . 3 children to every woman.  Most families now are just having about one child. I don't know about you, but I would be lost without my siblings, but like I said earlier, I'm speaking as one of six, so I don't know any different. I was talking to my husband, who is Chinese, about this and has told me that in china the fertility rate has actually begun to be a problem and in how all these only children are having issues because all the presser of doing well in things or carrying on family values is only on them and they have no one to share it with, and they begin to crumble under all of that pressure solely put on them. We also discussed that siblings are actually beneficial to each other. Now that is something that fully agree with. My siblings have been nothing but a blessing to me in my life. As much as I would have liked to deny it in my early years, I can now look and see how much my family has helped me learn and grow throughout my life. From having siblings you learn to socialize with others around you and you can also learn to listen to others opinions and discuss different ideas, siblings can be huge influences to one another. As I sit and type this I am actually surrounded by screaming, running and laughter and its a sound I wouldn't trade for anything because I know its the sound of siblings learning and playing with one another. I am so grateful for the siblings that I have and the things they have taught me and continue to teach me, they have been a great blessing in my live and I wouldn't want it any other way.

Family 160

Hey Everybody! For the next few months here on this lovely blog I will be posting updates from what I learn in my Family Relations class at BYU-Idaho. Feel free to comment and add your thoughts! Can't wait to get started!